I realized yesterday, I could be being naive. Maybe this is just another part of the roller coaster ride. maybe I’m just at the top of it’s really awesome Peak. maybe I’m just choosing not to see that I’m about ready to roll down this awesome steep.
Why shouldn’t this be just another part of the roller coaster ride of life? Its not like I haven’t been here before, . Every high seem to get higher, every happiest I’ve ever been gets happier, every your the best I’ve ever met gets better……. Flip side of that is the ride down is much deeper, faster and more painful.
Yes I am very happy, I’m also very scared. But if life has taught me anything, my life has showed me that every wo/man is going to hurt me, in the end. It’s been the pattern since I was like 4. I’ve never had a break, why would it be now.
Yet I want it so bad, I shut my eyes tight and hold on to him/her and take comfort in his/her touch, words and actions.