My therapist told me to call in today. That I needed to take a mental health day. God I probably should have. But I would have laid in bed and cried all day. My back would have hurt more. I would have used a paid day off. Better I be here where I am distracted.
We’re on a long mountain drive today. I am with a friend and our clients. (I work with developmentally disabled adults) We’ve had some good conversation. I appreciate good friend during hard times like this. I use to not have anyone. And over the last couple days I’ve had quit a few friends make it known they were here for me if I needed them.
I plan on keeping myself busy tattooing all my people that need touch ups or the work I started finished this weekend. Plus I have previously made plans with the chica I’ve been dating for Sat night. I did tell her about my poly boyfriend breaking up with me. But how much of that and all the other bullshit in my life do I want to share this soon?
I have talked with him, he wants me so badly to say that I can just be monogamous with him. I can’t do that yet. I am not ready. I am not sure what kind of relationship is right for me yet. Polyamorous, open relationship, or just non committing Fwb, or at some point monogamous with whomever. I still need time to explore what I want, I think it’s to soon to limit myself. God knows I love him. I don’t want to lose him or hurt him. He says no matter my decision he will still be in my life. But for how long? And at anytime can I say ok I am ready to just be yours? Please be patient with me.
Dawn's Star 