So without even knowing it, I come out again on national coming out again. I posted a what if straight people had to come out video on my Facebook profile, which was not my first lgbtq post. And not long after my aunt who lives on the other side of the country called. I could tell right away she had something on her mind as most our relationship had been built over the phone. But at first my mind landed on the fact that my mother had just left my father for the second time. So I figured this was the topic of concern. Until she said, “What is going on with you? Are you gay?” In a concerned tone.
I laughed and said well I am Bi. And there after went the typical debate of choice and then on to pda and hiding it from my boys. This angered me, as my boys and I have talked and I don’t think hiding it is going to do any good.
Thankfully the debate ended in agreement to disagree and we bid our usual I love yous’ and goodbyes. But it still weighs on me. As I’ve always felt her and I had a pretty good relationship. I had thought I’d already confirmed for her that I was indeed bisexual, but she is ageing and not being around her daily I am not sure how great her memory is anymore.
To add to what exactly was not agree on, she made comments on how “almost every gay has had sexual tram in their childhood” and if I’d been making out with girls since I’ve been making out with boys I was just a confused child not in fact bisexual since forever. She also made a comment about my not going to church anymore, to which I replied, “What does that have to do with my sexuality? ” in my opinion nothing. I still believe in the same god I did before coming out or quitting church. I quit because my support system wasn’t there and it should have been due to my attendance for 13 years. (Not support for my coming out but supporting me through some depression that was very real and very obvious) She then conceded to just ask me not to have pda in front of my boys because it would confuse them and make the question who they were. To which I replied and what about all the gays who have been raised by straight parents? Unfortunately I don’t think I changed her mind on anything but I do still feel she loves me. Which means more to me than changing her mind.
Regardless since I’ve quite going to church and started living life and making real friends I’ve created the best support system I could ever ask for. As I’ve learned the last week or so when they all called and came to my side to help me get over some emotionally crippling things I am dealing with. I.e. my parents, my polly stuff, roommate and financial challenges and last but not least my kiddos challenges as well. More on that all later though.