The zombie effect

Ok so all the stressors in my life are maxed.  Before I was flooding,  spiraling and giving up.  Now I am closing my eyes and bracing myself. What every happens happens. I am a leaf falling and at the mercy of the wind will land where I land.
My therapist has me playing I spy with my 5 senses.  To keep me in the now.  Can’t change the past or the future right now so just know I am ok right now.  I have this numb feeling now.  Just flouting through till it’s ok to feel again.  When will it be safe, how will I know?
I’ve started having flash backs of my childhood abuses and even my adulthood tramas. They’ve started playing in my head. I’ve never had this as a problem but its as though all the stressors in my life has pushed them to the surface and now I am forced to watch as they play on.


One thought on “The zombie effect

  1. You shouldn’t ever have to “not feel” things. Tightrope walking is only fun till you fall off. [spoiler- the fall hurts- bad]. It’s alright to tune out sometimes but don’t ever let yourself not deal with the things you’re thinking of. If they bother you, if you can’t suppress them, its probably important to resolve it before there are worse consequences. Take care ❤


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