In no man land.

So I am at a point where I feel like I’ve been fighting hard to show my love that I won’t give up on us.  I won’t let him push me away. I will fight till he knows I love him. But at what point to I realise the sacrifice is in vain. I mean if he is still saying we are not a couple and i would be happier without him, do I walk away? My heart breaks thinking about it. I’ve shared my heart and soul with him, I’ve beared my inner most secrets.
When do I say enough is enough.  Do I fight until he rips himself out of my life? Because it already seems he just visit maybe one night a week. And its always on his time not mine. I mean why not pick a God damn day my kid isn’t home then at least. Not only finding a place to fuck privately in the house would be easier but leaving me home for so many days alone when I am going through a lot of emotionally traumatizing shit?

So here I am …..for the first time since my great depression, my sexual appetite has diminished. My therapist actually said I am not to sleep with anyone but my love, due to my emotional vulnerability.  Now only if he actually wanted me as much as I want him.



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