Previous fantasies vs my current fantasies.

So before I always or almost always fantasized about a three some. I have never tried dp. And so while either fucking myself or my partner I would fantasies that right before I climaxed I would be receiving a second. Of course as soon as I did climax I wouldn’t be thinking about that anymore. So it would be like a man jumping in and jumping out for a max of like 3 min. Only long enough to push me over the edge.

And so when I came out as bisexual and started fucking chicks with my toys…I was still in my head. Now  instead of two men I was fucking this chick and my man would be behind me. Adding an additional euphoria to the idea of his thrust only helping me thrust. But as time went….and my lover reading my blog and calling me on the fact that I he didn’t know when I was mentally in the room with him or in my head. How was he to know he was enough for me?

This made me question how often I was doing this and if it was like all the “men” addicted to pornography who no longer get stimulated from “normal” shit.
So I started taking note and then started really focusing on the here and now of my relationship with him. Since I am monogamous with him now, I needed to only be fantasizing about him.
This is when our sex life went from amazing to euphoria.  And I don’t mean some of the time. He never fails at pleasing me. And I can tell you honestly that my head is always in the room. Although there are occasions where there are more than one of him. Lol 😉 but It is always him pleasing me. And the way he changes things up keeps me from getting board. 
Funny how he reads my body language and always does the things I silently beg for. I love that he bites my neck hard, chocks me occasionally, and recently spanked me. (My first time ever!) Better than I thought it would be. The fact that all these push the limit is a turn on. I mean the thought he might just go to far and I will have to say something and the fact that I cannot ever imagine saying something is the best part. I would let him do anything to me. I want him to do everything to me.

I think I want him to handcuff me before I do him. But I do know I so badly want to do that to him. I’ve had so many ideas of what I’d do. But my memory sucks and I never wrote them down. Lol I know it’d mostly be me teasing him and giving him a blow job till he couldn’t stand it anymore. I would be tempted to whip him, but I can’t even rightfully bite him. I don’t want to do it wrong or hurt him. My biggest fear would be him telling me I was doing it to hard.

I do know I don’t want to fuck him like I would a chick. I am pretty sure he doesn’t want that. And I always want him to be the dominant partner in our relationship. It would take him talking me into it and as I stated he isn’t into anal play as far as I know. 

I want to take him somewhere outside. I want to fuck him in a dressing room or off some trail somewhere.  I want to give him a blow job in a movie theater.  I want to surprise him, I want to fulfill all his fantasies.

I love his body so much. I love his face even more. When he is doing stuff, I obsessively stare at him and his body.   I watch his muscle definition as he moves.  It makes it uncomfortable and he really doesn’t have confidence in his appearance but I swear since the day I laid eyes on him, I’ve been hypnotized my his masculine sexy features. The mystery that is him drew me in. All I could do was stare him down and hope he’d come to me.


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