Optimistic verses reality

Let’s be logical, realistic ya know? It’s great having a busy full schedule.  Gives me lot’s to distract myself from “emo girl’s” slurs of depression. I don’t even have one full day of down time now.  It’s days like today I am drained and wanting to have nothing to do. It’s not like my work is super physical but I am mentally drained.  I know I need to do more drawings or may tattoo work won’t get better.  I know I need to watch the videos on piercing so I can know all I need to about piercing.  I have to clean my house.  The list goes on. I need a partner that will help me. Someone to share the load per say.  I am over whelmed and need to find balance.  I am surrounded by people constantly yet feel so alone most of the time. I tall to much and listen to little. I take everything personally when most of the time it has nothing to do with me at all. People have their own issues, that they know how NOT to share every detail about.   I know I can get better at drawing but I can’t get past all the shit talking that goes on in my head about how my drawing looks. I know all drawings look like shit till they don’t.  The problem is I have a hard time working past the shitty parts. I always want to either give up or start over. I hate my brain. And most days I hate my life.

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