Yoga and biking for distraction?

So I am doing  yoga. .ok I am doing a  30 day challenge with YouTube.  Yoga with Adriene. I am on the 4th day.

I met a friend and started a conversation about long distance bike riding. I haven’t done  any yet. Lol

I need to be drawing and painting more. My self motivation isn’t  the greatest.
I plan big with no follow through.

It’s  been 2 and a half months sense I’ve had sex and I am starting to go crazy. God do I just want to fuck. But I am scared. I don’t trust anyone and I have been tested and am clean. But I’ve  heard about  std too much recently  to let anyone near me. Plus I know my heart will sway. And I don’t  want my walls to come  down. I don’t  want to loose myself once more to anyone.

Shit I even researched dental dams and that shit looks like it takes all the fun out of a great time. Guess I’ll  be selibat for awhile. God help me. Lol

I can’t  be around anyone without  questioning their intentions. And if I know they want me, all my guards are up and my words are saying no. I can’t  help it of my body and eyes are begging please.

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