Once again I am blindsided.

A little by little I let my walls down and think

about moving forward.  Opening up to the idea of working on myself. As to not allow myself to become obsorbed. Or obsessed. But tip toe towards something more.  Just as I think I might try to open my heart to like someone,  your lies come back and slap me in the face. Yet again I hear about lies you’ve told to make me the bad guy in what I thought was our  relationship. Now I get to learn that I was crazy (which you made me that way ) and that I hated your friends.  I planed a trip for us to go on with your friends.  I was trying to help you see them more. That I was taking all your money? Lol I spent so much money on you. How can you even say that when you weren’t even working?  Weird.
Now I am back to looking at my choices and realizing that my picker is fucking  broke and I can’t trust myself anymore.

I am sure I will let her walk away. Because I can’t hurt like this again. I don’t trust anyone. My whole life had been one bad decision after  another. One horrible choice after another.  I’ve done nothing right in my life. I don’t deserve anything good because I’ll mess it up anyway.


One thought on “Once again I am blindsided.

  1. You don’t mess up everything… maybe somethings but not everything is your fault… everyone has things their afraid of and walls they don’t want to let down.. I’m sure a recent person has tried to get in and u wouldn’t let them and now ur on to this new person, let someone in at some point, and I hope she can care for you like the interest before her could have!!


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