And the argument goes on…

I’ve talked about them before. …I’ve spent a lot of time in the background listening to the arguments.
Super bitch insisting no one can be trusted and life is so much better alone.
The little girl begging for a companion.

I spent a lot of yesterday tattoo crazy girl. And she was laying it on strong. She has a boyfriend & a girlfriend now. In an open relationship she says. Hasn’t slept with either. I guess she hasn’t had sex with a man since her ex husband and is afraid. But I don’t relate to not fucking when I have a partner who is willing.
Anyway last night after I got off work I called her back because I missed a call from her while I was tattooing my second appointment. I put ear Buds in and fixed my dinner, ate it and started playing my ps3 all while talking to her. Her boyfriend and her were playing mortal Combat or something and she had ear buds in as well. We talked for like 2 hours. Basically I listened while playing my game. But some crazy ass shit when down.

She told her man she was totally into crazy shit like what the guy in silence of the lambs did. Putting his dick between his legs and dancing around. So I told her to make him do it. …he did. Then I listened while she touched it and sound like she didn’t know what the fuck to do with it. Lol I heard him explain where to touch it and how to hold it. Then of course she wanted to see him cum so after she gave up trying he jacked off. Omg. I tried to get her to let him go down on her but she wouldn’t. She wanted me to go over there so I would fuck her. Yeah not happening. I was trying to help the dude out not hurt his ego.
How shitty of her to basically watch him jack off, then have him listen to her beg me to come take care of her. She even made him sleep on the couch so she could sleep alone. Glad I dodged that train wreck. Oh did I mention I know I heard them snort oxy. Gross. I am good.

So I am messaging with him again. My heart is all caught up thinking about him all day. I know the pain that has been caused. I know I can’t have him back. He is dating the chick that stole him from me. But I imagine he won’t be loyal. I think it is an inability to be. I have no idea what I want from him. Nor do I know what I am setting myself up for by talking to him. All I know is I fucking miss him. My heart hurts for him. Little girl invited him here last night. I have no idea what super bitch would’ve done waking up to him here. He didn’t show….he is pretty smart. Probably knew I just lost control of the little girl last night. He knows Me/them so well. God the future is so complicated.
I hate the unknown. I hate being alone, but it’s less complicated. I need to stay focused.


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