So I haven’t heard from my son. I have no idea how he is doing or if they’ve transferred him to prison yet. I’ve gotten no updates. I haven’t had a full breakdown. I think I have come to realize that it isn’t earth shattering for me. It hurts but I can still hope that one day we will have a better relationship. And that is it. My life doesn’t depend on my son wanting or not wanting me in his. As sad as that maybe be. I can hope in time things will change. After all he is only 19.
My youngest son and I are still building a great relationship. Talking more and more as time goes by. I was watching him this morning before he got on the bus and thought to myself, he is really a handsome young boy. And getting so much bigger. I really like how he wears ball caps backwards. He loves the jersey material shorts and shirts. And now that it’s spring he finally took his favorite jacket and vest off. I had to promise to have those washed and dried by morning just to get those washed. He would even make me pinky swear they’d be done. I sure do appreciate him. My cup overflows with joy having him in my life.
I’ve started to paint again. Playing with a few different styles. But truly enjoying it. I didn’t realize how much I loved it and how fulfilling it was for me. I wonder why I didn’t do it more. Regardless I am painting and feeling happy.
Working on a few tattoo drawings and feeling good about them but worried I won’t nail the shading once I tattoo them. Well practice makes perfect. . Hopeful sooner rather than later…I am drowning in debt. Ugh I break is coming, I just know it. Holding on till then.