It’s been a week now.

So I haven’t heard from my son. I have no idea how he is doing or if they’ve transferred him to prison yet. I’ve gotten no updates. I haven’t had a full breakdown.  I think I have come to realize that it isn’t earth shattering for me. It hurts but I can still hope that one day we will have a better relationship.  And that is it. My life doesn’t depend on my son wanting or not wanting me in his. As sad as that maybe be. I can hope in time things will change. After all he is only 19.

My youngest son and I are still building a great relationship.  Talking more and more as time goes by. I was watching him this morning before he got on the bus and thought to myself,  he is really a handsome young boy. And getting so much bigger. I really like how he wears ball caps backwards. He loves the jersey material shorts and shirts. And now that it’s spring he finally took his favorite jacket and vest off. I had to promise to have those washed and dried by morning just to get those washed. He would even make me pinky  swear they’d be done. I sure do appreciate him. My cup overflows with joy having him in my life.

I’ve started to paint again.  Playing with a few different styles.  But truly enjoying it. I didn’t realize how much I loved it and how fulfilling it was for me. I wonder why I didn’t do it more. Regardless I am painting and feeling happy.

Working on a few tattoo drawings and feeling good about them but worried I won’t nail the shading once I tattoo  them. Well practice makes perfect. . Hopeful sooner rather than later…I am drowning in debt. Ugh I break is coming, I just know it.  Holding on till then.

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