Dumping this all right here.

I’ve decided that in my letters to my son I will personalize some of my therapy dbt skills and hopefully my kid will learn some things while we right back and forth.  If he indeed writes me back. He hasn’t called me and it’s been since April 18th.  My heart aches and I am worried sick.

I feel like I could spiraling yet I feel as though I got this. My heart is heavy and stress is definitely a plenty right now. I have a teacher parent meeting tomorrow morning before work. I hate being in the same room as my ex. He repulses me.

Found out today my roommate is bailing on me and I am afraid I will lose my place.

I feel pretty distant from everyone and although I have talked about a little of many of my problems I haven’t fully disclosed how I am feeling.

I have a pretty important test coming up and my passing will affect a hug shift change at my work. I need to pass.

I sure wish my insurance hadn’t changes at the end of April.  I could really use an appointment with my therapy group and therapist.

I think I am just not into this person I’ve been talking to this last month. I can’t find a red flag but I am not sure I want to move forward. And I don’t know how to shut it down. This person really is falling for me and I don’t want to hurt them. But the longer this goes the worst it’s going to get.

I blew up at my parent’s today. I told them they aren’t there for me emotionally and how they never ask I am doing. I basically told them to have a nice life. I am tired of them always talking about their reality and never asking about mine. It’s like it never occurred to them to ask how I was handling things. But honestly how could I ever expected the two people, whom one after finding out I was raped when back to sleep and the other visit me for as little as 30 min and left me, to ever do more than they have ever done.

I am systematically ending any relationships that cause me pain. I will not tolerate pain or any chance of it in my life. I just prefer protecting myself. I deserve happiness, even if that means being completely isolated.


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