My ancient past came calling…

I received a letter today.  Only a few have made significant impacts in the depths of my soul. Few have left me aching for years with memories that never fade. Well this would definitely be one of the top few. The one who first named super bitch,  no, not Nikita. Long before I knew she was really there.  Angelica was her first given name. And I resented it every time I heard it. 

Some times I forget that these distant memories and people from my past are real. But they are, so very real. And they have marked me permanently. Each and every action making me the very person I am today.

Memories good and bad come flooding in. I think this one person knew me so very well back then. Smiles I’d say just about as good as my last partner.  But as for anyone I’ve encountered, I was deeply hurt and it took  me years to have any half ass real relationship again. People just can’t be trusted with my soul. If I’ve learned anything I’ve learned not to bare my soul to anyone.  Protect it, that’s my job.
So many years,  so many memories. Good,  great and glorious memories.  Disastrous, despairing and debilitating memories. 

People only use you. People are greedy.  They always ALWAYS want something from you. They never come to give.

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