I listen to music he brought into my life. As though it’s a beacon calling to him I need rescued. The words of every song an anthem to my pain. But every so often there is a break in the the lyrics and a solo instruments brings in a great build up…to what ever emotion the songs is encouraging.
And they start in. Speaking. ..cutting. ..shouting. so many opinions, so much paranoia. I just want peace.
I control impulse to say what they want. I control the urge to send lyrics that emulate my thoughts. I control the impulse to block him. I know it won’t stop me from thinking about him.
I am skin thirsty. I want to be touched. I want to feel someone’s fingers run down my back. Brush my hair to the side of my face.