Who was visiting you,

The desire is always overwhelming.  Often a background dialog. How can I be close to you. Thought of driving down that street or over in this direction with just the hope of a glimpse of you. Just to be in the near proximity of you. 

What drives a person to do things that they know will only cause more pain? Why does an abused child still seek approval from an abusive patent?  What drives humans to allow emotions to over power logic?  Madness

I felt so awkward in my own skin. Not quit sure who was in control.  Almost suspended between two very opinionated personalities. As though my very soul was the rope between to powerful teams tugging at each end. I brain wouldn’t work. I couldn’t function.  I barely held my composure to appear like I was fine.  I would be surprised thought to find you hadn’t noticed. ..you know me all to well.

You kept your distance. I sat in my car before going in. So much anxiety to over come. You thought I was smoking cigarette again.  ..I thought you knew me better than that. I always refer to smoking weed as smoking. You hugged me good bye. It felt awkward and then for a split second before you rushed off I melted into it and it felt right again.  As if no time had past. And then it was ripe away again  like a dream at the sound of a rude alarm clock.


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