Forward and opinionated “Mother”

Hey you may not relies this but we have met a few times. But yesterday I was who you were talking to. I mostly observe, but I decided to be in full disclosure.  I hope you understand my words weren’t meant to hurt you. Just my observation and if I am wrong…judgements from what I have witnessed over time. But my intent is never to hurt anyone.  Just to logically think through things and make rational arguments with whoever is in control.  Maybe I’ve grown stronger and that is way I am asserting myself more. Hopefully that is a good thing.

Anyway about what was said. Granted I know nothing about what you are thinking. ..ever. I know not your deepest emotions. I only know what little glimpse of your soul you’ve shared. But I care and empathize enough to put pieces of the puzzle together. And I do feel like I am mostly accurate. 

I also know that things can’t get better tell you want them to. Tell you work through what needs to be worked through.  Confront the dark passenger or let him drive you. It’s up to you.

Know that along with all the others in my consciousness, I love you. I care for you deeply. I want to help you. As stated before,  I am mother. Kinda what I do.

Believe me, little girl needs it all to often. ..but unfortunately she is all to often untouchable. Lol she is a wild child of sorts. As I am sure you know. But very needy and cares too deeply. She could totally take control sometimes, sometimes over powering super B. Haha why do you think she still gets to talk to you? She let’s her heart drive her, you know? All she wants is to be loved as much as she loves.  And when she had it, she never truly believes  it. She doesn’t believe she is worthy and she questions it to the point of paranoia. Letting super B whisper all the more doubts. Unfortunately at that point I become a quit voice and am unheard.

With all this free time I am teaching the others of what it was like before all the long term codependency started.  I don’t mean to say it hasn’t always been there but if you could understand that as a teen it was reinforced with abusive relationships. We’re moving more, crafting and painting.  Sitting alone in our thoughts. Learning to be comfortable in the quit stillness of solidarity of super B choosing.  I guess we are all finding ourselves again. And hopefully healing our open wounds.

I was thinking of reading novels again. I love them personally.  But I tried comprising and listening to one on audible but the narrator’s voice is definitely not a good fit for the character I’ve already gotten to know all to well over years of reading the other novels in the series. I think after super B takes that test I will hopefully have more time to recreationally read. I am over the scientific crap she is flooding us with. Blah. I have no idea why she finds that crap fascinating. I mean it’s all useless gore in my opinion. It’s comparable to her watching the pimple popping videos, turns my stomach and makes me ill. Anyway I’ve lost focus and I am being nudged out for other pressing things. Farwell for now.

Be gentle with little girl and forgive the sharpness that super B dishes.


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