Boundaries, walls and guards. 

Honestly, I’ve been a flirt since I was to young to remember.  So yeah, I guess I could be at fault. (Flash backs of childhood, good and bad flirtatious behavior and it’s consequences. Ugh) 

I have a close friend, who I’ve know since high school. But I don’t really remember him from that period of time at all. Anyway we dated for a very short period of time in 2001. 

Only real significant  memories from that relationship is I got to dominate his hind quarters and learned I liked being a top but not to a man. And when a guy feels inadequate he will make up for it in performance. Yeap that’s about it.

Anyway we have stayed Friend over the years. I have confided in him and he as well to I. We have laughed and cried and gave each other pep talks about like. And natural we flirted and even took it a bit past the boundaries of his marriage. But never physical broke that boundary. 

He would often feel guilty for this and block me for different lengths of time over the years. As time went by I would resist more due to having placed high value on our friendship.  I felt, I feel, he has an amazing way of emotionally supporting me, now and through out my life. Also and a very big reason I resist is I am not at all attracted to him. And over time it feels as though he isn’t separating the innocent flirting and reality. 

Anyway so the floor has dropped out. He confessed all his sins and she confessed hers and they are working on strengthening there marriage. I am told she is dominating him and they have spark back in there sex life….and now drum roll please……  Now his wife is bi-curious and he is pushing her on me. I am trying to set boundaries, making it clear I am not interested but the passes are relenting and I find myself getting angry. 

Today I think I made myself clear. When he again brought up his wife to me and told me she has a crush on me. Something snapped. 

I have no idea if I will still have these Friends in my life tomorrow. But I feel like I am starting to get this whole boundaries and walls and shit. 

What I do know is a certain person I said good bye to Kinda called this one along time ago and I didn’t see it coming. 

And…I think I am ready to peak around that wall I put up. Wish me luck. I hope I don’t chicken  out again. 

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