So I have come to this place in my life where I can embrace the pieces I love. I can say with great honesty, I love my life.
I love what I have created for myself. The dreams that I have persuad and the people I have surrounded myself with. What I choose to do with my free time is what makes me happy, my schedule is filled with very little of it I might add. But for me, I perfer it that way.
You see what I guess, I am trying to say is I’ve found myself. The true me. Yeah I know us boardlines like to say that. Usually at the end of a relationship or start of a new adventure. Always reinventing ourselves to “fit” in. Lol well I have spent quit a bit of time alone this last year. Listen to a bunch of self-help books on audible and learned how to find the edges of myself and put up the boundaries I never put up when I should have as a kid.
I live with pride in who I am, and feel confident in my own choices. Taking away all the self doubt and constant need for validation and approval of others. I don’t NEED to fit in or know that everyone around me LIKES me. I don’t care because not everyone will like me. And ya know what, I don’t like everyone either. And that’s ok. We are all different for a reason. Being civil to each other is all that really matters. In a since we all just need to learn to disagree and move on. Coexist if you will.
I love my life. I love my Boys. Even with the challenges that come with being a single Mom. I love how I parent and how I communicate with them. Took me awhile to get to a healthy dynamic but we are here and still learning and growing together. Acknowledging that with them, I think, is important.
I love my career and my coworkers. Even though sometimes we bump heads. I love the honesty we all share with each other. Keeping things real helps keep the peace. And it makes the work environment easy. Some days we all need space and others we hang out and shoot the shit. I enjoy that. Oh and I love working essentially a swing shift schedule. I hate mornings and love evenings. (mine are usually from 9pm-1am)
Most importantly I feel free to say no to people and advances I am not asking for. I maybe skin thirsty but not enough to end up in a long term relationship with the wrong person. I can and have been waiting for intimacy with the right person. When I start having sex again, it’s going to be with the right person and because of that it will be so amazing. As much as I want it to be SOON. I am not settling.
I know materialistic things aren’t important but they do help for self confidence and feeling independent. So I can know say I feel good great about my independence. Once my roommates move out in January I will be so much happier. I can stop sharing a bunk beds with my 9 year old. I just bought a shark vacuum with a 3 year warranty And next I plan to by good knives. I have a new to me last Aug car that is reliable and I can buy things when I want. I live easy and that is all I’ve ever wanted. Life is good.