The struggle….

Awe so there are constant battles in our life. I can assure you that a couple years ago I wouldn’t be able to manage the plate I’ve been dished as of late. But I am a survivor and I have had therapy that has given me what I need to emotionally regulate through all this.

Let me explain,  my clutch when out in my 2011 car I bought a little over a year ago. The dealer is saying 1600 to fix it. I am fighting them on it, but if they don’t my boss has already assured me he would loan it to me. I am so blessed to have such an amazing boss.

Business is slow right now and I only make money when I work so money only seems to be covering bills. I haven’t properly prepared for the holidays.  So I had to tell my kiddos I would buy gifts next month. Of course I’ll still have to get santa stuff and holiday party gift exchange stuff. But I can always get them great gifts after Christmas.

My oldest got to come home Wednesday but found out he isn’t allowed to see or talk to anyone 18 and under for at least a year. I had already made plans for my youngest to see him but now I have to break his heart and explain he will not be seeing him at all. I feel so bad for both of them.

Oh and that lady I was talking to. I met her for the first time Thursday and she seems pretty cool at first but got drunk fast or something. And things got Super crazy. Lol and we met up with my neice-in-law and her friend, one friend tried putting this girl in a cab because I wouldn’t ditch her. This girl wasn’t a very nice person anf she ended up getting ditched my her friend.  I did end up making sure my date got home safe. It was a super crazy night. Then she posted online she was in a relationship with some other chick. Lmao save me the trouble of having to relive it the night while talking about what the hell happened and where things went wrong. So I just commented,  congratulations and she liked it. Lol

Not sure if I have talked much about my Cholo but I think it’s about time I do. This dude is totally chill, I fucking love having him around. Brace yourself, there is a but. He keeps coming at me. Don’t get me wrong I love the dude but as my homie.  I know I only add to it by letting him cuddle with me but I enjoy it too. Just no sex or sexual shit, ya know?  I feel bad cause I know it hurts him. But we both need the physical touch. He tried pulling away from me for awhile because he was going through it and didn’t like a joke a pulled but he got over it because I am that cool. Bawhahaha.  Anyway we cool again. 

So I am back on the damn dating apps again and I hate them.  I honestly just want a girlfriend already.  I was so hopefully with this last chick.  Wish it would have worked out. 


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