What I’ve learned in the last year.

I can laugh at myself sometimes when it comes to how I approach dating.  I use to rush in and fall for people fast. I would flirt with people freely and always throw sexual innuendos out there all the time.  Now I’d say I am a bit reserved. 

I start dates out by telling them I look for red flags and run. Just to warn them so I don’t hurt them. But that just puts them on edge. So I will try to refrain from being a pessimist. I am so gaurded. My thoughtson love: love is temporary.  So I will enjoy the journey with each new partner for the length of time I am given with them.

I am learning I don’t have to get handsy till I am sure there is chemistry.  Although I want to I can’t bring myself to make any moves if i don’t feel for them. Again I don’t want to hurt them or have to break it off later with someone I never was really into in the first place. It makes it a lot easier to be friends in the end. 

I am also seeing that no one is perfect. We are all flawed in some way. I can’t expect perfection if I am not perfect myself.  Which I am not. I am learning to appreciate everyone’s beauty. If you look for it, it can be found in everyone you meet. 

If you allow people in your life you can be gifting yourself the very thing you’ve been missing.  I have opened my heart to new friends and embraced that some are for a season and some are for a life time. I am blessed with many and am very greatful. I am not sure how I’d ever survive with out them all lifting me up when I need it.

I have learned when addressing almost any issues with people, address the emotions behind the problem and it will be resolved quicker.  This especially works with kiddos really well.

I’ve learned that clean up as you go makes work so much easier. And keeps your area’s clutter free and titty. Always having a spray bottle of cleaner near by to sanitize when needed. This has been a hug help in keeping my spirts up and motivation to do other fun actives. Having a nice home and work area is beyond essential in keeping emo girl at bay. 😉

I have also learned I am still terrible at self discipline and time management. Although I feel I am getting a bit better. 

I can praise myself in my efforts to become mentally aware and emotional stable in acknowledging and working on my Borderline personality Disorder, Codependency, depression and not to mention the anxiety I can experience on occasion.  I feel so much more in control of my mental health today than I have in my entire life. I only wish I could gift this to the people I love. Yet I know they have to be ready for the journey and the work to a happier life. Sadly it is not my choice or my job to make them except the challenge. I am only a spectator in their life as they are in mine.

I have learned that honesty is the best route in any relationship. Yet every thought and emotion doesn’t have to be validated with a listening ear. I have learned that you can learn nothing by sharing everything and learn everything by listening to others share. 

I have experienced trials and tribulations others haven’t and yet have not experienced all there could be. I now know that there will always be bumps in the road and my perception of them no longer needs to be a huge  Rollercoaster.  Just riding them out and knowing that it will all fall it to place over time. Taking one piece at a time to work through it makes it seem manageable. 

I know now that if you want something you have to work for it. Not everything requires hard work but most of the good stuff requires perseverance, diligence and patience. Your mental dialogue is your most valuable tool, if you use it right. Choose your thoughts wisely or they will destroy you. Keep those negative thoughts in check, always. Takes practice but it’s well worth the happiness in the end.


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