It can be difficult to accept when your heart belongs to someone and all you want to do is be with someone new.
Random memories surge in taking hostage of the moment. All prior emotions washed away like a tsnomi. How do you move on when you can’t forget someone? How do you heal your heart and start new?
When you give the last piece of your heart away you end up in this weird limbo. Walking around, passion less, zombie like. Going through the motions with out the emotional connections with your people like you really should have.
I am in a place where I run accross things in my home and I am flooded with emotions. Memories that betray me. Tell me of love and laughter. Bringing in nostalgia of better times. Real Love.
And then comes crushing memories of all the pain and hurt. The real ugly face that was behind the mask. The reality of the puppet master amd his evil devised and executed plans.
I regularly fantasies about some future karma showing the master that he is only in fact a puppet himself. I wish to watch tears of real remorse wash the mask off to reveal the ugly soul that you are. To strip you so that you can not hurt another soul.
You shed tears before only to draw me in, to make me feel sorry for you. To make me feel like we were close. Just another tool for you just like my sexual preference. Using that to make your lovers comfortable with you staying at my home. You’re wicked, selfish and disgusting.
I wish I could stop seeing your face. I want to scream at you everyday. I want you to fade way from my memories like you have my life. But I wish your ghost would stop hunting me. I just want to move on. Please let me move on.