If I always hold out for someone “better” then I will always be alone.
If I have to beg for someone to tell me how much they love me and want me to be with them, They don’t.
I am not a 10. There are plenty of red flags to be found in me. Why would I expect someone to accept my flaws if I refuse to look past theirs?
I am sabotaging my future by holding onto my past. A past that isn’t even holding onto me.
I use to have unbelievable confidence considering how ugly I am. I was bold and forward. Reckless with my flirting. I would flirt with both men and women. I made the rules and there weren’t many.
Now I barely hold a conversation long enough to get them interested. And if I do flirt and finally get them to warm up as soon as they show interest, I want to run. I Want to run from love, from life, and from my new start.
I want to stand still. I am complacent. Refusing to decide so inevitably the decision is made for me.
How am I supposed to find love if I am always holding out. If I am always running. If I am always looking back.