Feeling awkward at work because one chick won’t even look at me.  Like what the fuck. Am I Medusa or something.  I ain’t hitting on her or even trying to talk to her outside of work shit. So fucking weird.

I have a secret and I want to tell people close to me. I want share things. But I can’t and won’t and that makes me feel awkward around people who know me well. I guess as of now I have no purpose in sharing but it doesn’t make me want to any less. It sits on the end of my tongue ready to jump at anytime. Awkward.

My cholo has pulled away so much. He can’t stand that he is so into me and I am not into him. I miss having him to talk to. I understand though. He needs distance so he can move on. Hopefully he will still be my homie when he comes around.

I kinda like this chick I went on a hike with and she likes me but I can’t seem to be into her enough to start anything real. I canceled on her the other day. I feel like an ass. Then on top of that another chick I was talking to a few months ago started hitting me up and she is coming on strong. She lives far away so she feels a little safer to me because it’s not like anything real will come of it. Awkward 

And then we have the famous him. My mind is consumed and I know better but can’t seem to change the way I act. Feels like the past is repeating itself.  And I would argue it feels different and amazing all at the same time but isn’t that how it always began before.  Am I a fool for playing with fire? Can we be in each others life and just be friends?  Best friends.  I have hope. 


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