On the otherside of the fog.

I am feeling a bit clear headed now. I am sure I was in a foggy #emogirl haze for quite awhile. Not sure how or why I get sucked into a shitty narratives like that. It literally feels different when it’s apon me. Anyway, let’s stay away from that or I could be sucked back in.

I feel a bit more whole persei. I spent a bit of quality time with my girl and really feel like it helped me balance a bit. We really need to make some kind of schedule but it feels so elementary.

The idea of moving in with my partners has settled in nicely with almost everyone involved. My mom has a bit of anxiety about it but is just as eager, to get it done, as my partners are.

The house is almost completely done with remodels and ready for us to keep moving the majority of our stuff over before the end of June. It definitely feels more like home over there now compared to the appartment I’ve been in for almost 6 years.

I think it feels weird over at the house sometimes because there isn’t a lot of solitude in the household. I imagine, that will fade a bit as people settle in and get use to having so many in the home.

My girl took some time off to help take care of our dude, and keep him from doing stupid shit to fuck his back more. Which was needed. Cause he just had to see if he could, which he could, but to find that he couldn’t, it would’ve ment fucking it up. I found myself walking away a few times. I have to learn how to let him do what he will, he is a full grown adult who knows the consequences and the limits of his body. All while I shove down all the told you so’s stacking up in the future, cause I can’t possibly be that much of a cunt to actually say that down the road… could I?

I’d hope that by that time I would have more control over super bitches nasty comments and emo girls snarky attitude. Lol but what I really need to control is little girls greedy selfish behavior. But I am not talking about all this…it’s all in my head anyway right? Clear and whole going forward? Ha we’ll see. 🤞

So my Man has gotten a lot of shit done in just a short amount of time to make the house comfortable for everyone. He’s even went as far as getting the garden ready and planted. And…my girl has gotten the house clean and tidy after all the remodeling and made room for all our things. I am so grateful for this life journey we’re starting.

I won’t wish this time away daydreaming about our future, I am going to mindfully enjoy everyday along the way.